Third Culture Kids

In case you've never heard this term, "Third Culture Kid" basically refers to a child who is raised in a culture outside of his/her own home culture. This child grows up "in between worlds". He is neither fully a member of his home culture (The US, for us) or host culture (Togo, for our family) and therefore is termed a "third culture kid". There's no way around it...as missionaries in a foreign land our children will grow up as third culture kids, part of a culture neither completely home nor host. This thought used to kind of bother me. Some parts of it still do. But mostly I've begun to see the advantages and even delights of my children being able to grow up in between cultures. First, and foremost, my children know in a more tangible way that they are truly wanderers on this earth, looking forward most of all to our true home in heaven. Another sweet advantage is the blessing of "realness". Knowing that one can not completely conform to one's host culture and not living in one's home culture, my children are more keenly aware of their true likes and dislikes, their interests, and what people are "really" saying, despite their words. They have more freedom to live and learn without the sometimes overwhelming pressure of cultural expectations (that may be either right, wrong, or neither one).

These pictures taken of Hannah and Elijah this week sing of their place in a third culture. Hannah had been saving up her allowance for the past month and a half in hopes of buying a wig at the open air market here in town. Elijah also had been begging for a trip to the market to spend some of his earnings. So we arrived at the market on Monday morning with our school teacher, Rachel, to do some shopping. After purchasing some material for Rachel, Hannah walked right to the wig stand and began musing over which one to purchase. Rachel kind of giggled and then really began to hoot when Hannah put one on. Then she caught herself as she realized Hannah was serious about this purchase as a beauty item! If women here can afford them, they own 2 or more wigs that they sport for more formal attire. Hannah has been noticing different wigs around town and decided she would like to try one for herself. This is the one she bought, pictured above. She wore it all around the market and got at least 6 genuine comments about how nice she looked in her new wig. She also wore it to school the whole next day and informed everyone her name was Zoe for the day. (Her alter ego?) Her head was sure sweaty when she arrived home after wearing that wig all day!

Elijah picked out a tie to wear on a date with me that night. It was a second hand blue tie with Loony Tune characters adorning it and he thought it would do nicely. Dave cinched it up and somehow managed to make it work over Elijah's green polo shirt and we had a nice date at a restaurant he thought was great, but was one most Americans would avoid like the plague. (Unless they were in Kara, Togo and were very hungry, that is!) We had a wonderful time and I went to bed smiling that evening deep down, knowing my children so individually and celebrating their uniqueness that I just can't miss or suppress in this setting. ...and I'm so glad I can't!!

As Christians, I guess we're all part of a "third culture" with different values, likes and dislikes, and perceptions of what reality is compared to the thoughts of the world. Give us eyes and ears, Lord, to truly follow you.